Grief & Loss Services

Life is a series of beginnings and endings. In each stage in our life, there are unique changes that are normal and can bring people together around shared experiences. These major life events can be a wedding anniversary, funeral, birth of a child, graduation, job changes or retirement, sudden change or declining health.

These naturally occurring changes can leave us feeling isolated or misunderstood. These feelings may be frustrating or overwhelming and increase stress that effects our daily functioning. Have you found yourself struggling to focus, completing tasks or goals, or not enjoying activities that you found pleasurable in the past?

You may find that you may have or be experiencing some commonly known stages of grief: 

The Kübler-Ross model, commonly known as The Five Stages of Grief, is a theory first introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her book On Death and Dying, Her five stages of grief have now become widely accepted.

Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to people suffering from terminal illness. She later expanded this theoretical model to apply to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). Such losses may also include significant life events such as the death of a loved one, major rejection, end of a relationship or divorce, drug addiction, incarceration, change in office environment, the onset of a disease or chronic illness, an infertility diagnosis, as well many tragedies and disasters.

Kübler-Ross added that these stages are not meant to be complete or chronological. Her theory also holds that not everyone who experiences a life-threatening or life-changing event feels all five of the responses nor will everyone who does experience them do so in any particular order. The theory is that the reactions to illness, death, and loss are as unique as the person experiencing them.

The stages, popularly known by the acronym DABDA, include:

1. Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
   Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death. Denial can be conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, or the reality of the situation. Denial is a defense mechanism and some people can become locked in this stage.
2. Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"
   Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Anger can manifest itself in different ways. People can be angry with themselves, or with others, and especially those who are close to them. It is important to remain detached and nonjudgmental when dealing with a person experiencing anger from grief.
3. Bargaining — "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
   The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just do something to buy more time..." People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example "Can we still be friends?.." when facing a break-up. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if it's a matter of life or death.
4. Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
   During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed. Depression could be referred to as the dress rehearsal for the 'aftermath'. It is a kind of acceptance with emotional attachment. It's natural to feel sadness, regret, fear, and uncertainty when going through this stage. Feeling those emotions shows that the person has begun to accept the situation.
5. Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
   In this last stage, individuals begin to come to terms with their mortality, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. This stage varies according to the person's situation. People dying can enter this stage a long time before the people they leave behind, who must pass through their own individual stages of dealing with the grief.

Resource: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elisabeth_Kubler-Ross_(five_stages_of_grief)_-

If you find you are experiencing distress or effects to your daily coping, please contact one of our trained professionals.

Services offered:

     Individual Therapy

     Family or couples counseling

     Support Groups

     Design steps towards personal growth and acceptance

     Enhance coping strategies in day-to-day functioning